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FaceBook, A Link & Tears

January 4, 2013

It’s been a tough last three years…plus. Not something I talk about generally, actually not something I have shared with anyone except my closest prayer partners until now.

#1 Son’s divorce & his escape from an abusive psycho. Nightmare six years for him & us. The renewal of his relationship with us which she had almost destroyed, but after all the years, after all the damage, the Lord led him back home to live with us for 15 months, time to heal his heart & get his feet back under him.
My Dad’s illness & death with feelings of abandonment I didn’t expect. The associated family trauma that resulted from his protracted illness & my mother’s failing health which continues…
Dear friends moving away, far away…more loss in my life…
#2 Son’s graduation with a JD/MBA, passed the Bar, yet unable to find a job for 14 months while he lived with us…
#3 Son’s graduation with a JD while working a job & on Law Review from a Top 10 Law School, passed the Bar, yet unable to find a job when he returned to Nashville while he, his wife & their cats live with us…
DH’s uber-stressful job that has taken it’s toll on him in so many ways…
Add to that my recent surgery & it’s life-changing consequences…
It’s been a tough last three years or so.

Michele, my chiropractor told me on my last visit that I needed to cry. To just sit down & have a good cry to release some of the tension, the toxins that have built up in my body, in my life. Bless her heart, she has walked through all of this with me, too.
For me crying is easier said than done. I don’t cry easily & never around other people. Never have. I don’t know why, but I don’t. In a house where one is so rarely alone…unlikely to happen.

A friend Posted this site, When You Don’t Want A New Year But A New You on FaceBook the other day, I was alone in my house for the first time in months & I happened to click on it. Just curious. As I read the story tears began to fall & I was sobbing to the point I had to put my head down on my desk. Because of my swollen vocal cords my sobs sounded more like a seal barking than a woman weeping.
I regained my composure & continued to read. The tears & sobs began again. This time crying to the Lord. All the events, all the loss, all the pain, frustration, fear & anger pouring out.

Thank you, Ann, for writing this. Thank you, Kim, for posting it on FaceBook. It was the Lord’s gift for me on the day I really needed it.

“But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead…I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

  1. Bobby Lowe permalink
    January 4, 2013 6:57 am

    I’m so glad you shared your story, Tami. If you would have told me things would get better a year ago when I was experiencing my second 6 month severe depression I wouldn’t have believed it. However, with the help of my dear sister Marie, and Dr. Reisman, my last depression lasted only 3 months and my sleep patterns were the best they have been in years. The day after school was out before Christmas, my last mild depression lifted and I had the best Christmas in 6 years. Praise God! The Colorado Lowes flew in Christmas Day, just before midnight, and I had the best Christmas ever with my family. I cleaned my filthy house for a week and when they arrived at the house I finished. The next five days were wonderful. So, now my next strategy to improve my mood swings is continue to add more walking time every day( I was doing approx. 2 miles every morning before school when the mild depression came), and hopefully by April of next year I will be able to do the half marathon here in Nashville. God does work in “mysterious ways his wonders to perform” even when it takes years……

    Hope you have a blessed day!



    • January 5, 2013 10:25 am

      Moving down to the soprano section has interfered with our talk time! I am so proud of you and your perseverance!
      I wanted to commit to walk the half-marathon with you, but that is the weekend DH and I are climbing Mt. Le Counte, so this year I will take a pass. We will get our calendars together and find another one maybe later in the year if you’re up to it.
      Love you, Jeannine.

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