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Singing In Silence

January 31, 2013
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Psalm 19: 1 – 3
A Psalm of David.
The heavens are telling of the glory of God;
And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.
Day to day pours forth speech,
And night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words;
Their voice is not heard.

I miss singing – that is, singing with my voice, my mouth – with sound. I miss being able to open my mouth & produce sound, hopefully melodic, harmonic, pleasant notes of praise & thanksgiving.

At my quiet time early in the morning, I read my Bible, frequently coming to passages that have been set to music & I have had the privilege to sing. Some mornings when I am walking Lucy, while most of my neighbors sleep – between 4 & 5AM – I am overwhelmed by the beauty of the night sky or the call of the owls or I am seeking the Lord’s face in misery & pain when His Psalms, His word comes to me in song & I sing as I walk. Not too loud, lest I awaken everyone.

Since my total thyroidectomy I haven’t been able to do this. On Sunday mornings I put on my happy face, stand in the choir loft & lip-sync as everyone else sings. I have attempted a few notes here & there – I even sang part of a hymn recently – WITH THE BARITONES!

Lu

But on this morning as I read the opening verses of Psalm 19, my heart soared, then sank… I heard the music, but I couldn’t sing it. So I sat there crying the words inside, tears falling. (Oh good – crying makes the throat muscles spasm, so now – no voice at all.) I silently sing my praises to the all-sufficient Lord & ask Him to accept my sacrifice of praise, knowing that He collects my tears in a bottle & understands my sadness. I wait for His healing hand, hoping & praying that I will once again be able to sing with my voice.

“I love You, Lord, and I lift my voice to worship You. Oh my soul rejoice! Take joy my King in what You hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.”

Note to self: do not put on your make-up before quiet time lest you have to redo the face, the eyes, everything! Especially after listening to this…

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